It’s not like the whole trip has been 100% lollipops and pretzel sticks.
For example: the other night, I connected the poop pipe to the RV and opened the valve. Yea… still holding the opposite end of the poop pipe in my other hand, not connected to the chute! Before the sludge could travel through all 6′ of the hose, I remembered that it’s a gravity fed system. I quickly raised the open end as high as possible, and had Mom prepare the connection to the sewage system for me, so I could attach to it before disaster struck. There was no Robin Williams RV moment, thankfully. For those of you still hoping, there are many more hookups to come, and anything can happen when we’re tired (which is every night).
Because of my near disaster, Mom has fired me from sewage hookup duty. She’s also taken over because I teased her on Facebook about it. I happened to let the whole world know that the first picture of her doing the sewage duties was merely a setup, and she was just watching me “to learn.” She insists that I set the record straight: she’s been doing those hookups for real, lately.
I expected there would be times when we’d have traffic problems, we’d miss a turn, or even get a little lost. Actually, these have not been frustrating at all. The frustrations have come from temporary episodes of lost artifacts (cell phone chargers, camera, sunglasses, wine glasses), though minor. The more significant frustrations are during times of sibling squabbles. But it wasn’t some small tiff that caused the doors to come off.
I had wanted to leave Zion via Route 9 East because it’s a scenic trail and gets us to the Grand Canyon (North Rim). It starts with a tunnel for which oversize vehicles like ours need to purchase a permit and can only go through during certain times of the day (when people are present to stop oncoming traffic). I had planned to leave early in the morning to get to the tunnel shortly after it opened, because I didn’t know how long the wait would be. The prior day, though, I had learned that the wait is never more than 10-15 minutes, so I let everyone (including myself) sleep in a little bit longer ( my 1st gratuity for the day). By the time we left, Sean was even still asleep (my 2nd gratuity).
The departure route turned out to be fantastic. We were treated to new and fantastic views as we snaked up the canyon wall to the tunnel, and then a whole new world on the other side of the tunnel with some incredible views there as well. We even saw two small groups of bighorn sheep, which was rather unexpected. They seemed to be enjoying watching the passing traffic just as much as the traffic was enjoying watching them. I’m sure they are waiting for a big RV full of vegetarians to be so distracted by their presence that they drive off the road, spilling the pantry contents in some easily-sheep-accessible location. It could happen, right? The road IS narrow, windy, and without guard rails (they haven’t been invented anywhere in The West, yet).
Canyon views, tunnel, winding turns, sheep… Sean still slept and JT distractedly noticed… maybe, and I didn’t force him (gratuity #3).
When we arrived at the entrance to The Grand Canyon National Park, both boys were neither excited nor interested, and not even slightly cooperative for our picture under the welcome sign. If you look closely, you can see their enthusiasm (lack thereof) in the photo.
Yes, we’re talking about THE Grand Canyon. They put the word “Great” in the name for a reason, right? People come from all over the world to see it because it’s something rather amazing, right? Dad hasn’t steered anyone wrong, yet, has he (#4 through countless)? Every single stop so far has been at least mildly interesting, right? Is there any real chance that The Grand Canyon is anything less than a mildly interesting destination?
And, come to think of it, how is it possible that we STILL haven’t learned that getting immediately out of the RV and posing amicably for photos is the fastest way to get the photos over with? Oh, and all the behavior had to take place in front of the Southern family who took our picture – a nice little all-girl family with angels for daughters who had to miss countless moments of their lives waiting for both our sons to get close enough together so the mother could take our picture. I’m sure when that family returned to their RV, the mother raised her daughters’ dating age from 25 to 32.
Sometime between climbing into the RV and pulling out of the turnout, all of these thoughts overcame me in the same moment, and that’s when I “blew a gasket” and “the doors fell off” (to stick with the motoring metaphors). I immediately regretted letting Sean sleep through the morning drive and letting JT immerse himself in the cellular connection that he hadn’t had for two days. I got frustrated; I got angry; and in the moment, a cuss word might even have slipped out… or, rather, gone out intentionally for effect.
A couple of iPhones were confiscated. Mom and I resolved that if the boys were so insistent on acting like they didn’t want to be on the trip and a part of the new experiences, then we’d treat them that way. Maybe I resolved it and Mom went along without protest because she could see I’d already burned through my collar. There was total silence in the RV all the way to the parking lot. Without asking them to, the boys maintained a 15-150 foot distance behind us for the rest of the visit to the park. That allowed Mom and I to compare levels of awe for that little hole in the ground.
About 75 miles away from the North Rim (if I remember it correctly) the road to the South Rim dropped sharply into an expansive valley on the Navajo Reservation. Across that valley, the Vermilion Cliffs National Monument, like the bighorn sheep, also attempts to lure drivers off the road with its 15 or more miles of incredible cliffs all prominently visible. We stopped at a pullout so Mom could take a picture, and the boys continued to sulk.
Undaunted by our apathy and unwavering against the temptation to be distracted by such geological beauty, I got our RV down the switchbacks and onto the plain. On the flat/open road, and with a fresh tank of no-ethanol gasoline, I was able to quickly get us around the end of the cliffs and past a few half-horse Navajo towns. (I’ve heard of the “one-horse town” expression, but to better relay the message, I’ve had to adjust it. The first two towns we passed were literally a collection of less than 10 permanently-placed mobile homes, and no more than 2 businesses, besides the post office.)
Not much later, we came to the Navajo Bridge. When built, it was the tallest bridge in the US (in the world?) and the only bridge across within a 600 mile stretch of the Colorado river! The original bridge from the early 1900’s is still there, but, since it wasn’t built for the width and weight of modern cars, a second of identical architectural design was added next to it, and the old one converted to a pedestrian sightseeing bridge. JT and Sean were barely impressed, still trying to sulk and act dejected. They were, however, I little less successful with their display, as it hadn’t elicited any response from us, yet (and we weren’t going to let it).
Our final stop was upriver from the Navajo Bridge at a place where the Colorado River is shaped like a horseshoe. The picture attached is with a normal camera lens; it wasn’t using a wide angle lens. The bend is just that severe, it almost distorts photos. By this point, the beauty of the sights were getting the better of the boys, and they were starting to show signs of mild interested. As a result, I took the time to explain that the river will eventually wear down the cliff walls and make a straight line for itself, bypassing the horseshoe altogether.
Arriving at the campground a few minutes later, the tense undertones were still present, and I started to get angry again, as well as start questioning whether I had made the wrong decision to drag everyone out here, whether everyone was now at their limit (and what was I to do for the rest of the 5 weeks), and how I had failed to show everyone a good enough time that the had no incentive for self motivation by now. I closed the bedroom door and laid down on the bed as soon as the RV was hooked up, and slept for 12 hours… missing dinner and everything.
Before falling asleep, I decided to wait until the next day, when I wasn’t so tired an emotional, and have a frank discussion with Mom about the quality of the trip, the value of the experiences, the general excitement/interest levels, and whether certain parties (all but me) might prefer to head home at the next available airport….
By the way, parts of the North Rim were closed to the public because of forest fires. Although they are locations with more incredible views, I hadn’t planned to visit them, so they didn’t affect us, but in case you’re interested, updates about the fire are regularly posted on the National Wildlife Coordination Group website (http://inciweb.nwcg.gov/incident/4845) and on the fire’s Facebook page (http://facebook.com/fullerfire).
